If you follow me over on social media, then you know what this post is about. JD has always wanted to be a father; always. He couldn't wait for us to be married so we could officially begin trying to start our family. I think his excitement to have a family came from his small family. JD and I have struggled with conceiving for over five years, including the heartbreak of two miscarriages. I will save our long fertility story for another post. Last year, we decided to host an exchange student that completely changed our view on what we wanted our future to look like. Hosting Nicky - gave us an incredible view and perspective on our own lives and lifestyle and what parenting a teen is like and even teens who are independent require lots of time commitments. Which made us realize having a baby may not be for us; we both work a lot, are dedicated to the gym and covet our hobbies and friendships and love to travel long-distance-for long periods of time. After Nicky completed his time here with us, we decided our family of just us and our little #ladyfox was enough. We embraced our season of life and the challenges that come along with basically being human. Finally, after all these years of heartbreak and doctors and making difficult decisions on what steps were next - we were finally happy with life together just being us. While I won't go into detail here; we had a hard Summer, and come Fall; we began seeing a marriage counselor and really started seeing each other and our marriage through fresh eyes and with lots of grace. This past wedding season was the busiest I’ve ever been. I closed out the year a week before Thanksgiving and was just exhausted- more exhausted than I have ever been. I retired to my hotel room; took a hot bath - fell asleep in the bath tub - only to wake up hours later dragging myself out of freezing water and straight to bed - still soaking wet. I can’t ever remember feeling as exhausted as I was. I know now; the level of exhaustion I was feeling was because I was nearly 6 weeks pregnant.
We’re pregnant. Just saying that and typing it h e r e , has tears running down my cheeks. There is an incredible little heartbeat that is growing inside me and making me wonder everyday whether he or she will have my green eyes or the blue eyes that stole my heart nearly 14 years ago.
I think it’s incredible that after so much heartbreak; here we are in this place - with a little miracle we never expected - but always hoped for- for so very long - growing in my belly. I’m currently about 16 weeks now. It’s a little later than most people announce their pregnancy; however with our history of heartbreaks - we wanted to be sure before we made the announcement official.
There are so many of my dear friends who are awaiting their miracles and battling heartbreak of not being parents yet. To all of you in that season - I am praying for you and I want you to know your time will come too.
Much love to you all.