Our Miracle

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If you follow me over on social media, then you know what this post is about.  JD has always wanted to be a father; always. He couldn't wait for us to be married so we could officially begin trying to start our family. I think his excitement to have a family came from his small family. JD and I have struggled with conceiving for over five years, including the heartbreak of two miscarriages. I will save our long fertility story for another post. Last year, we decided to host an exchange student that completely changed our view on what we wanted our future to look like. Hosting Nicky - gave us an incredible view and perspective on our own lives and lifestyle and what parenting a teen is like and even teens who are independent require lots of time commitments. Which made us realize having a baby may not be for us; we both work a lot, are dedicated to the gym and covet our hobbies and friendships and love to travel long-distance-for long periods of time.  After Nicky completed his time here with us, we decided our family of just us and our little #ladyfox was enough. We embraced our season of life and the challenges that come along with basically being human. Finally, after all these years of heartbreak and doctors and making difficult decisions on what steps were next - we were finally happy with life together just being us. While I won't go into detail here; we had a hard Summer, and come Fall; we began seeing a marriage counselor and really started seeing each other and our marriage through fresh eyes and with lots of grace. This past wedding season was the busiest I’ve ever been. I closed out the year a week before Thanksgiving and was just exhausted- more exhausted than I have ever been. I retired to my hotel room; took a hot bath - fell asleep in the bath tub - only to wake up hours later dragging myself out of freezing water and straight to bed - still soaking wet. I can’t ever remember feeling as exhausted as I was. I know now; the level of exhaustion I was feeling was because I was nearly 6 weeks pregnant.

We’re pregnant. Just saying that and typing it h e r e , has tears running down my cheeks. There is an incredible little heartbeat that is growing inside me and making me wonder everyday whether he or she will have my green eyes or the blue eyes that stole my heart nearly 14 years ago.

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I think it’s incredible that after so much heartbreak; here we are in this place - with a little miracle we never expected - but always hoped for- for so very long - growing in my belly. I’m currently about 16 weeks now. It’s a little later than most people announce their pregnancy; however with our history of heartbreaks - we wanted to be sure before we made the announcement official.

There are so many of my dear friends who are awaiting their miracles and battling heartbreak of not being parents yet. To all of you in that season - I am praying for you and I want you to know your time will come too.

Much love to you all.

Cass

Hello Friends! {Sweeping a little dust off the space}

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Guys - I feel like every time I come over to this little white space - I need to dust it off a bit. I so easily lose track of time and let too much time pass between posts. As an aside my friend & brand designer Becky, over at Salty Anchor Design and I have been behind the scenes pouring so much heart & soul into a little goodness to brighten up and refresh this little space of mine. I have been working like crazy behind the scenes to breathe new life into this space, including the entire website and this small but mighty brand I've built. I'm beginning to be recognized around my area by my branding and Instagram (so weird!) and strangers know me by my blog. It's just so very different and after it happened the first couple times I became a hermit. Afraid to post & let people see my life for what it really is. I'm so transparent over here on the blog; chatting about my life and business and all the struggles openly and honestly. Taking some time away from social media always allows me to rethink and evaluate goals and things in life that are truly important.  After taking some time away and time off - especially after having our exchange student - I really just needed some time.  

I have so much goodness to share with you all for this upcoming Fall Wedding Season. Lots of shoots planned and goodies tucked in.  We plan on launching the new face of Cassandra Dattoli in February and I can't wait for you to see.  Along with the new face and brand refresh I'll be adding floral services as a stand alone service and opening up my workshop and studio to educating new and upcoming wedding planners and florists and selling arrangements via a new shop.  Here's to us big dreamers; may we never stop dreaming and working for the things that light up our life. 

 

xo xo - C

IF I KNOW WHAT LOVE IS {Life Lately}

 

I stumbled across this quote a little while ago from the lovely Bridal Musings. Instantly it hit a chord with my heart. You guys know how dear to my heart I hold quotes but this one is a little more than just what meets the eye. I haven't shared this with you guys yet, but a little over two months ago, JD & I spent about a week apart. I let busy take over my life, my marriage and my home. I let flower scraps lay on the floor for far too long and checklists take over my life.  I let radio guest appearances, magazine features and blog collabs be more important to me than my marriage. I let seeing the end-goal become the only vision I saw. I didn't see that I was putting myself, my health and my husband last. This little boutique of mine has grown rapidly.. like times 100 in the last six months. My follower count, subscriber count and blog views became far too important to me. I didn't see how it was hurting him to see me sleepless, tired and not spending quality time with him. I needed a refresh - I needed to focus and find my heart again. I spent a handful of nights sleeping at my parent's house, and what I didn't do: was open up social media. I didn't care what anyone said or thought about the mess I created. All I cared about was finding my heart and Joe and us finding our way back to each other.

Six weeks. I took six weeks off of social media. I didn't open the apps, I turned off all notifications.    Those six weeks were amazing - I found I had time for things that fed my soul and heart and quit worrying about those perfect lighting moments and angles. The pictures I did take ? Were of our special moments together, big belly laughs and stolen kisses. I sleep now. No really, I sleep every night - like "wake up with a let's conquer the day spirit" My devotions are first thing in the morning followed by my workout and Foxylilpom walk. I set boundaries. My days off - are now truly days off. JD and I are closer and stronger than ever. Trust me we are so far from any version of perfect there is, but what came out of this little refresh was a renewed spirit and appreciation for my husband. There is nothing more important to me than my Faith and my husband and our marriage.  

I lost some followers. I say that and I have no shame in that. I don't worry about how many comments I get on my photos or how many new followers I get every day. I still take special care in curating my social media photos to align them with my brand, but I don't worry about sharing every single moment - or spreading news like wildfire. Don't get me wrong, social media has it's perks - I'm a big proponent of Instagram and building community - but I see & hear so many people using it to judge their quality of life and self-esteem. I actually stumbled across a funny post somewhere that said "calm down, Instagram is like monopoly money, it's not real". How sad and true it is. We can all take a pic, and spend hours editing it and only put online what we WANT the world to see, not what our lives are really like. Taking a photo after everything has been cleaned, vacuumed and perfectly arranged. I see that far, far too often. I want to take pictures of our home being lived in, loved on and real. A couch that has zillions of throw pillows all over the place because we'd rather sit close together with our legs intertwined and holding hands, rather than worry about keeping the $30 pillows perfectly fluffed. I want to take a picture of us out belly laughing over an inside joke from eight years ago, than sitting around a dining room table that has pictures perfectly hung around it. Life happens in the imperfect moments and to hell with perfection and posting a perfect life - I want to live, I want to laugh and hell I want to love with passion and fierceness.

I now know what love is. Love is not JUST loving someone with their flaws; love is loving someone enough to tell them truths - loving them enough to want the best from them and for them. I know love because my husband loves me enough to tell me truths so we can be closer to each other. He is truly my hero in every way. I share this with you so hopefully you don't make that same mistake - seeing the end-goal and keeping "your eye on the prize' is a must - but not if you bulldoze over all the things that are dear to you. Because you want to share that prize, whatever it is for you, with them. Happy Tuesday loves, from my imperfect heart to yours.

xoxo - C

Beautiful design above by the gals behind Bridal Musings.

A LITTLE LIFE LATELY {Gratitude & the Foxy lil Pom}

A couple nights ago we rushed our furry little child to the emergency clinic because we noticed his behavior was very different than his usual happy and excited self. We spell out the word w-a-l-k and  t-r-e-a-t because just the mention and he flies into excitement. We knew when we asked him to go on a walk and he just laid there, something was wrong. The emergency vet gave him a quick dose of pain killer but found nothing wrong with him outside of his normal health issues. (He is epileptic and has testicular cancer.) The next day we took him in to his regular vet and she immediately noticed he has a back injury by the way he was walking. Several liver flavored medications and weeks on bed rest in a kennel was the diagnosis for our foxy lil' pom.

This little ordeal was so unplanned and having to stay home pretty regularly to watch him and administer medication regularly put his age (he's between 15 and 17 guys!!) and just how much longer we have with him into perspective. A sadness overwhelmed us. This little guy brings so much sunshine and warmth and life into our lives. It's funny how grateful was my morning devotion the next day and then stumbling across the quote below from Oprah. It all combined and got me thinking about what it means to truly be grateful - not just kind and thankful for small favors - which I am very much so. (I say please & thank you even to the rudest drive-through peeps') But to truly feel grateful. The amazing Lara Casey always says "gratitude changes everything" I believed her - but I didn't truly feel it until I realized how grateful I truly am for the last couple of years with our furry child. And perhaps this is all just ramblings and nonsense from a crazy pet-parent because we are still working on our own family - but I F-E-E-L different. That realization - turned my sadness into gratitude. I'm grateful for giving that little furry child a really good life - grateful that he has opened our heart's to being pet-parents, grateful for the light and sunshine he brings us. I just feel lucky that we adopted him - lucky that we've spent this time with him - lucky to have him no matter what little time we have left with him.

Of course my gratitude extends far beyond the joy our pet brings to our life. But I think that is another post for another timee. I feel grateful in all aspects of my life these days - especially in the -not-so-perfect ones. In fact - I can't think of an aspect of my life that is perfect, and you know what ? I'm totally and completely G R A T E F U L for that; because how boring would that be?

Here's to us without perfect lives, may we continue to grow, and have adventures; because the broken road is often the most rewarding.

love, C

 

Grateful Print Photo  Design by the gorgeous Anne Robin Calligraphy. Shakti Gawain quote via Oprah.

THE COUNTDOWN IS ON!! {Confessions of a Rebrand}

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It's Friday and in just one short week the all new Cassandra Dattoli Events will be launching. Wait; did I just say that? Hooray!! Friday September 19, 2014, the all new Cassandra Dattoli Events launches and to celebrate I'm having a little celebration party at our home with a ribbon cutting ceremony. This is really happening! I'm so excited about revealing everything to you all - including a much updated and very pink new website and blog.

 

I recently stumbled across the word Serendipity. The effect by which one accidentally stumbles upon something truly wonderful, while looking for something entirely unrelated. Serendipity - you have been in the back of my mind and on my heart since I first came across you. When I started the journey to rebrand; I was asked to write my story; and rewrite my story - and write it again and again. The whole point is to condense - and pull out the significant moments - the moments that truly show the path that has led me to where I am now. Well, I found it. The handful of moments that lit the fires that make up my core. The reason I'm here writing in this white space to all of you. The reason I started my business - the reason I rebranded.

 I chose to rebrand, because I was outgrowing the old look. Because the old look and logo got the job done - the website got the job done; but what if this space also made you feel like you knew me, before you actually knew me?  That was my goal when I reached out to Becky at RP Design & Branding. A brand - not just a pretty logo, or fancy collateral pieces - but a brand that people can come to and trust and know what to expect from. When you come into contact with my brand I want you to expect pink happiness bursting with confetti, a dash of glitter and above all else a happy place where love and marriage is celebrated. This rebrand has been so good for me - in a crazy, frustrating, exhausting and hair brained way. But it has also been so incredibly fulfilling & rewarding. I have a core purpose, and I know in my heart of heart's what that is - and what that even means!  I have a mission. I have a business plan. I have a workflow. well kinda ... but I have a brand.  I have a brand that is every piece of my heart and soul and represents who I truly am and what I want my business to represent. There is so much goodness still to share, but here is about half of my branding board that Becky created for me 

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In condensing my story to fulfill the needs of representing my core I came up with this:

I grew up in Decatur, Illinois, dreaming of the day I would be a State Prosecutor in St. Louis. I'd have a downtown loft with an incredible view of the Arch and send my assistant to pick up my dry cleaning and coffee. We'd sit and discuss the legal issues plaguing our nation and have grown up conversations on capitol punishment and abortion. But as they say, sometimes, on the way to a dream, you get lost and find a better one. For me, getting lost; was my saving grace. During undergrad I met a blue-eyed Sicilian boy who stole my heart quicker than I could say "objection". Rather than head straight to St. Louis, I followed him and stayed closer to home. Six years later, ten moves, two graduate schools across three states and six months apart while he was at the State Police Academy; on October 20, 2012, we finally made it official in a traditional Greek Ceremony surrounded by close friends and family.

 Months after he proposed - it became clear that my heart changed. For as long as I could remember - I  read about, wrote about, studied criminal law and all the "bad stuff" in our humanity - and this wedding planning "stuff" was just the opposite. It lit a fire in me that I don't even know how to describe. It had hit me .. I want to be a part of people's happy moments - whatever this is, I want this. The memories of my mother and I planning get togethers, asking family to bring all white or red or green food containers; picking the napkins, plates, centerpieces and silverware for Thanksgiving and birthdays - it all just made sense.

Sometimes I wonder if God had a big chuckle with me - by putting me in the midst of the awful crimes people commit against each other to this complete opposite world - where love is the center and focus of everything. Love. Love is at my core. Love is my reason.

I'm having giveaways starting tomorrow to win some pretty awesome items from Pearls & Pastries, Woodenhive Vintage Silverware, Instax, Pease's Candy & Nuts, StarbucksTarget, Project Life and Meandmybigideas just to name a few; to celebrate this rebrand and to welcome you all to this happy little place of mine. 

ps. If you read this far down and leave a comment .. you'll be entered into all the giveaways!! 

xoxo