Today will be awesome.
Wait. Let's say it again.
Today will be awesome. Yes. It will be awesome. I will get my to do's done, I will check those boxes, I will write a blog post, I will -bring-myself-out-of-whatever-funk-this-is-I-have right. this. second. Just typing that and sharing it (embarrassingly) with you all - is completely freeing. Yes. I have been overwhelmed lately. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I launched this blog, my business, and now my new brand that we have been working so tirelessly on. My goal has never been to get bigger and busier - I just want to get better. I truly want to be an artist. Handling my August 16 contracted wedding has taught me so much about my business and about myself. It was a total-made-from-scratch-design-and artist-and completely awesome and original wedding. I loved handling everything. I loved having the family and couple completely trust me with their ideas, vision and let me go to town. Before I go to far and get off track - let's get back to burnout. I ate, slept, and breathed this wedding. I went out of my way to ensure no stone was left unturned - and I went too long without asking for help.
You see, in my quest for perfection for this amazing couple - I lost sight of myself. I let days go without showering, without taking my hair out of whatever bun contraption kept it secured that day, without sleeping, and without proper nutrition. I needed help, and I was afraid the moment I asked for it - people would think I couldn't handle it. I was afraid someone would screw something up. I was terrified the couple wouldn't like it because it wasn't me tying ribbons or placing the stems in the vases.
I've been afraid for my business - and I still am. I want to be a boutique. I pride myself on being small. I want my clients to know that when they hire me for planning and/or florals they know it is me that is putting it together - that the ideas we talk about and my suggestions are what is actually going into their dream day. I kept this notion in my head that if anyone did it but me, it would be wrong or not good enough. What I learned is this: it's not special having great ideas. Guess what? Everyone has great ideas. What makes one idea more special than another is the person behind the idea and their ability to make it happen. What made me a great planner on August 16th, was that we had to flip the Ceremony space into the Reception space within 45 minutes. My amazing team did it and guess what? I showed them what to do and just like magic they made it happen. I walked down the table rows and made minor adjustments. I remember turning in circles, thinking "what still needs done? What needs fixed?" It was done. It was right and it was absolutely breathtaking. I let go of perfection - and when I did - I saw amazing beauty. Not just in the florals and arrangements and tablescapes; but in the team I hired, working together, dancing and having fun while working their butts off to see my vision come alive. That's perfection.
As promised; a little sneak peek from the wedding. The custom backdrop made just for my couple. Isn't it just lovely?
Today will be awesome, because I am letting go of perfection and embracing imperfection in all it's glory. How about you? Any of you struggle with this as much as I do?
A very special thank you to the team who pulled off Saturday's event.
Christopher Hammon, Rebecca Riva, Ashley and Joe Yokley and last but not least; my amazing and ever so handsome husband.
I love you all.