Q's & A's {Ask Cassandra}

Cassandra dattoli. springfield, il wedding planner.

Hi sweet cheeks! Before I launch into today's questions - I want to thank all of you who emailed me last night and today sharing your journey and being honest about needing encouragement. I can't begin to tell you how nice it is to know that I'm not the only one needing a restart button. Some goodies from the (soon to be) Cassandra Shop are on their way to you!

Today's questions are some goodies that I really enjoyed answering for these sweet ladies. Let's all help them out shall we? Read on!


  • Is it okay to skip the cake? We love brownies. - Sarah, IL

Sure! I suggest skipping the whole cutting ceremony altogether and having the DJ, or best man just announce dessert is being served. I also recommend adding a note on your menus simply saying the two of you prefer brownies over cake. Something like "we hope you enjoy brownies as much as we do" or In lieu of wedding cake, enjoy our favorite brownies." Just so guests don't expect a cake cutting or worry they missed the cake cutting. Another idea is to have a brownie bar. Yum!

  • Cass, I am under a guest list attack! I want to keep it under 150, but everyone keeps asking me when they are getting their invitation. How can I make cuts, I don't even know where to start? It seems like everywhere I go I keep running into more people asking about their invite and how excited they are about the wedding! Help! - Renee, NJ 

So many couples struggle with their guest lists. It's only natural to want to invite everyone to celebrate this special day, but the hard truth is, you just can't. (Unless your resources are unlimited, then I say go for it!) The good news is, that most people will understand. I have my couples make a list starting with their wedding party. Bride, Groom, Best Man, MOH, BMs, GMs, Flower girls, ushers, ring bearer, parents and grandparents. By now couples can have 20 guests without even starting a guest list and that's why I have them list out the wedding party first - the numbers and seats go fast. Then I have them make their A list. Their inner circle of family and friends. Then I have them make the dream list keeping the wedding party and inner circle out. Everyone you think you want to invite. The dorm roommate from undergrad? Write her name down - the guy who gave your guy the answers to the test - if he suggests the guy - write him down too. That list is pretty long. I have them take a couple of days away from it and then we re-visit that long list going over each name asking the couple how close they are to the person, the last time they chatted with them, and why it's important they share in their special day. I have found this has been beneficial to my clients and helps alleviate any of that "guest-list guilt" that comes with nixing would-be guests. Your guest list is your biggest contributing factor to your budget - the more guests: the more everything is. Every venue has a limit and so does every budget. Think of your guests as "seats" and you only have so many tickets. And when you run into those pesky guest list questions, gently tell the inquirer that as much as you would love to invite everyone; your budget is limited. The majority of people will truly understand.

Congratulations Sarah & Renee on your engagements and upcoming weddings! Everything will all work out!

Big hugs and thank you's to Sarah and Renee for their questions. Some Cassandra fancy mail is on its way to you both! Please share your thoughts and any advice for these lovely brides in the comments below. Happy Thursday loves, Friday is just a day away!

xoxo Cassandra

Amazing photo above by the very talented Miller + Miller Photography.