Q's & A's {Ask Cassandra}


Hello lovlies! Welcome to the first installment here at Cassandra Dattoli of Questions & Answers. A couple weeks ago I posted on lots of social media - asking for submissions for any wedding- or party-planning questions. I would really like to spark some conversation about rules and etiquette, and see everyone join in. I love helping people plan celebrations and if I can reach out and pay it forward using my God given talents as well as dreaming up some fabulous details - you betcha I'm gonna do it! If you know me, then you know I have a sweet tooth for a perfectly planned party - any reason to talk wedding - gets me fired up!

Sweet emails came in far quicker than I imagined and I have lots of material to post here for quite some time, so I think I may make this a regular weekly post: what do you think?

So first up, I chose these two questions for this week.

We have unequal numbers of groomsmen and bridesmaids; is it necessary that they  match?    (Sarah, via Facebook)

Absolutely not. The only necessary thing you need is your fiancΓ© waiting for you at the end of the aisle; and that the people standing up with you support you and whose presence is meaningful. In fact, in my own wedding, our groomsmen outnumbered our bridesmaids. I received a comment from a guest, that she thought it was special we had two groomsmen walk the last bridesmaid up the aisle. Ask either the best man to escort the maid of honor and another bridesmaid or the last groomsmen to link arms with two bridesmaids (a lady on both arms -what a lucky guy!) or have your wedding party walk single file up the aisle. In this case, the best man starts, followed by the groomsmen, then the maid of honor, followed by the bridesmaids. If something else suits your fancy, by all means go for it. Always remember, this is your big day.

Do you have to choose a family member as your maid of honor, even if you are closer with a friend?    (Jenna, Oklahoma)

In a short breath; no. Emotions and feelings always run high in the days, months, and sometimes years leading up the wedding. It is so common for a Bride (or Groom) to be closer with a friend, than they are with family members or siblings. If feelings are concerned, and you just want to skip any would be awkwardness or strange conversation - skip the titles and list bridesmaids as just bridesmaids, and groomsmen as groomsmen. In my experience, if you know you are closer with a friend than lets say your sister who lives across the country - chances are - that she knows it too. If having a maid of honor (and explicitly listing a bridesmaid as such) is important to you, then you should start a conversation about whether or not your family member is comfortable playing such an integral role and is able to make the time and monetary commitment. At the end of they day, it is your wedding day: but Shakespeare said it best:

 "What's in a name? That which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as sweet." (Romeo & Juliette, II, ii, 1-2)

Thank you so much Sarah and Jenna for your questions and sweet emails. A gift from the Cassandra Shop is on it's way. Congratulations on your upcoming big days!!

I loved reading and still love reading all the questions that are landing in my inbox. If you have a question, or want a little advice, don't hesitate to contact me at cass@cassandradattoli.com. I'd also love see some comments below as to what you think and any advice you would have for these ladies. Don't be shy and join the convo!

 xoxo, Cas

Photo by the amazing, Ravetta Photography.