Q's and A's {Ask Cassandra}

It's question and answer time!


It seems like the weeks just fly by. My inbox is filling up quickly with sweet gals looking for advice and I can't tell you how happy that makes me. I am overwhelmed by all of your kind words and sweet messages. Today's questions:

"We are having a buffet-style dinner with no assigned seating and would like to give favors to guests. How do I make sure that everyone gets a wedding favor?" -Blaire, KY

I absolutely love that you are doing favors. So many couples lately are thinking favors are over done; and a little outdated. I think favors are a great way to add detail and a little love to each guest. You can place the favors at each seat at the table, arranged with your menus if you are having them. Sometimes, favors are little charms or trinkets and look great tied with a ribbon around the menu. Another great way is to set up a "favor" table with your favors near the exit at your reception location; with a note saying something like, "Thank you so much for being here with us. Please take one for the road." Guests won’t miss them, and can simply pick up a favor on their way out (or in). I have also seen where the favor table is set up before dinner, in front of the dance floor (depending on your floor plan) and as guests come in they take their favor to their tables. Then before the wedding party is announced, staff take down the table. This can also be done in the cocktail area too.

"Who all do I invite to the Rehearsal Dinner?" -J.W., IN

According to the one and only Martha Stewart, and the rules of etiquette, only those who participate in the actual rehearsal for the wedding get the invite. It's increasingly common to include out-of-town guests and close family members in the night-before festivities. It's always a nice gesture to allow dates of your attendees to come as well. It will keep your attendants more relaxed and everyone who hasn't met, will get a chance to chat and get-to-know each other a little better.

"My MOH asked for a bridal shower guest list. Do I invite all the women who will be invited to the wedding or just close family and friends? Also, I will be inviting several people from the East Coast to my West Coast wedding. Do I send them bridal shower invitations, even though I know they won't be able to attend, or will this look like a ploy to get more bridal shower gifts?" - B., IL

You don't have to invite every female who's invited to your wedding (that might get a little crazy and a bit expensive). Your bridal shower guest list should include your family and closest female friends, your fiancé's mom, sister, and other close female friends and family. This can, and often does, get a little sticky. Guest lists can turn into land mines very quickly - always use your best judgment, when deciding "to invite-or-not-to invite." It is a celebration to 'shower' you with love and gifts. So if someone doesn't fit into that 'shower you with love and gifts' - then a tough decision may need to be made. As for distant guests, sending a shower invite is always a nice gesture and; courteous even if you know they can't attend. It shows them that they're important to you and that you would have wanted them there.

Big hugs and thanks to these sweet ladies for their questions! Some Cassandra love will be hitting your mailbox soon! I really cannot tell you how fun this is for me to connect with you all! For last week's questions check here. To send me your question and have it featured send me some sugar at cass@cassandradattoli.com. Hang in there lovelies, Friday is almost here!!

Much love, Cas



Photo by St. Louis' Rachel Ravetta of Ravetta Photography