Q's & A's {Ask Cassandra}

Hello there sweets!!  I took a breather from social media this week and over the weekend; it was much needed. I want to truly focus on what matters and keeping my head looking forward to see what goodness comes my way, rather than buried in my phone looking down. This week's installment of Questions & Answers are some goodies that I really enjoyed chatting about with friends & colleagues.  I can't tell you how much I love, love reading them and connecting with you all. It warms my heart and makes me want to just do a happy dance!

This week's questions:

"My fiance' and I {decided} to postpone our wedding. I am really freaking out and embarrassed: how and what do we tell people?"          -Diane, NY

This may surprise you; but my husband and I postponed our wedding. My May couple, postponed their wedding. It happens. The first step you need to take, is to let everyone know about your decision. Do not use e-mail. If you need friends and family to help with phone calls, go for it; but every guest needs to know ASAP. If you haven't sent out save-the-date's or invitations, then a phone call is completely sufficient. If you have sent out invitations, a postponement card, would be proper traditional etiquette. It's also; always a nice touch. Something simply stating "due to unforeseen circumstances", or "due to an illness in the family" and saying you will announce a new date ASAP. To give you an idea here is a pic of our announcement cards looked like this: (I added the sparkles and ribbon with some DIY magic before they were mailed out to guests)

If you are in the planning stage between save-the-dates and invitations; sending a postponement announcement is optional and your call. I always recommend sending something, even a handwritten card - it's just a nice gesture to your guests. Everyone's circumstances are different - choosing to postpone is always difficult - it was for us - even for a happy (& long awaited) reason.

"I'm not sure if I want to change my last name once we are married; is it wrong to keep your maiden name?"    - Jessie, Chicago

To change your name or not? So many brides are torn about this question. I reached out to some of my sweet and lovely social media friends and received these responses:

"Kept my name, but never planned to. When the time came to change it, something inside me said to keep my maiden name. My parents are divorced, and I don't have any brothers, so it just felt right"

"Taking his! I think it adds family dynamic. I wan{t to} be able to say the Denton's."

The decision to change your name or not, is a very personal one and varies from one bride to another. For me; I couldn't wait to take on this new identity, share his last name and to be a "Dattoli." For a long time, my maiden name just didn't fit with me - it's like it wasn't who I was suppose to be. Now with my husband's last name; I feel like it just "fits", as if I am finally the person I was born to be. Maybe it's cheesy, maybe its all fantasized in my head - but it's how I feel when I say it & it's how I feel when I write it. I see a lot of people saying: "it binds you as a family to have the same last name." I don't disagree - but I also believe what truly binds you as a family - is the love you share and the commitment you keep to each other. Whether you decide to hyphen your maiden & married name, keep your maiden name or take on your husband's last name; is a decision only you can make. It's not permanent, you can always change it later - and change it again if you don't like it. However you feel, that will be the right decision. You are not less married by keeping your maiden name, nor are you more married by taking his last name. Whatever decision you make; do what feels right to you.

Big hugs and thank yous to my sweet brides for sending in their questions. If you have a question you'd like to send me, hit me with your best shot at cass@cassandradattoli.com. For last week's Q's & A's click here.